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Life Update

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Good day everyone. I just did an update in our private Facebook group, and now I am here to give an update to those of you who don’t participate in Social Media. I am sorry that it has taken me a while to get back to everyone’s comments and messages… but I thank you for the bottom of my heart for your patience, understanding, and love.

If you are new to NouveauRaw, I have been away for the past month due to a family emergency. If you wish to read up on that, you can click (here). So for the moment, Grandma is still with us, but she is losing a bit more life with each passing day. Individually and collectively, we have been making such beautiful memories with her during this time of heartache. She isn’t in pain, her mind is slow but sharp, and she is at peace. My mom and I have been filling in the gaps when Hospice isn’t present. And I have to tell you that it is such an honor to care for her as the minutes of each day pass by.

My Grandfather says that my mom and I are like Laurel and Hardy, (you can Google them if you’re not familiar), simply because we are always creating laughter when caring for Grandma. We have our solemn moments, but I find that laughter and joy can still be found in these precious moments. Even in her bed-bound state, she found the energy to, after bathing her, guide me through the process of changing the sheets when a person can’t leave the bed. Her voice was weak, and her lungs hardly had enough air to get the sentences out, but somehow still managed to teach me something new. She said that I was a quick study and learned well.  I will never forget those moments. (P.S. my grandmother was a career CNA – certified nurse’s assistance – so she knows how to care for people.)

Another quick blessing that swoons my heart like no other is the gift of song. One day, my mom asked Grandma if she wanted some music on. Grandma said no. She said she enjoyed music but only certain music. We try not to bombard her with too many questions because she doesn’t have the strength to talk much, so I asked her if she would like to hear a song from Bob (my husband for those who are new here). He had to stay back in Oregon, but we talk on the phone at least 10x a day. She said that she would LOVE that. So I called Bob and asked if he could sing “Hallelujah” her all-time favorite song. You can listen to it here if you aren’t familiar with the song. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LRP8d7hhpoQ).

He happily said yes, so I put him on speakerphone so he could sing to her. Grandma laid there with her eyes closed and lips quivering as she sang the song along with him in her heart. Her face became smooth and at peace. Mom cried, I cried, Bob cried. We were all so touched by his rich baritone voice. From that point on, Grandma requests a daily song for Bob to sing to her. Most are hymnals, but Bob did sneak in a Christmas song and a few others. Today, he will be singing, “He Touched Me.” (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Igy7g6BCNO0)

This is the first time in my life that I have been granted the opportunity to be with another person as they start to prepare for the departure from this worldly form. And so far, I have been gifted with the grace to be fully present, to cherish each breath,  and to allow the perfect balance of grief and joy to flood my heart.

I realize that in this particular circumstance that I have received a real gift. A gift to say words that I always meant to say but took for granted, a gift to reminisce over memories that could have long escaped my heart, a gift to care for one who spent a lifetime caring for others, a gift of hearing words of wisdom depart from my grandmothers lips that could have so easily been lost for good, a gift to cry out in grief, joy, and peace.

I am sorry that I have only put out one recipe this month, but if you can find it in your heart to be patient and understanding, in time, I will be back in the kitchen to design some yummy raw recipes for you. blessings and love, amie sue

26 thoughts on “Life Update

  1. Alexi Bracey says:

    Such beautiful caring and songs, more beautiful memories of your gandma. Thank you for sharing with your tribe. Blessings!

  2. Michelle says:

    Thank you for sharing this profoundly touching & beautiful glimpse into such a sacred space. You’ve always given so much for so long and free to boot !!! There’s plenty of recipes to keep me busy for a long time. Thank You & may your heart continue to fill with so much love during your/Grandmas sacred journey.

    • amie-sue says:

      Oh thank you, Michelle… your words touched my heart. Nouveauraw has also become part of my family and I never take any of you for granted. I appreciate your understanding and support. It gives me the strength to keep moving forward. love and hugs to you, amie sue

  3. Christine says:

    Sharing such raw emotion is an amazing and rare opportunity. A true blessing. Sending you and your family love and light. Hugs.

    • amie-sue says:

      Thank you Christine… we all appreciate the love and light. We all feel so blessed to have this time with her as this isn’t always the cause when love ones depart from us. Even in my grief, joy supersedes. blessings and love, amie sue

  4. Pamela Saden says:

    Your words are absolutely beautiful! I’m so sorry what you are going through. I was there for my Mom. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Sending love and hugs.
    PS The photo is stunning!

    • amie-sue says:

      Thank you Pamela. I am sorry to hear that your mother passed… it’s a part of life that is a guarantee but that doesn’t mean we are ever ready for it. I am at peace though since Grandma is not in pain, clear mind, and she herself is at peace. Last night she prayed over my sister and her boyfriend… she is still giving even in these moments. Bless her heart. blessings and love, amie sue

  5. Stacy says:

    You are doing what is most important, family first, always first. What a blessing it is to spend this cherished, sweet time with your Grandma, and other loved family members. Music is an amazing thing, so glad she is able to enjoy it through the lips of a loved one.
    God bless you and your family,

    • amie-sue says:

      Thank you Stacy. I appreciate your support. Music is so healing… and it warms my heart to no end hearing Bob sing to her. He has a voice that brings calmness. He sings to me nightly so I have first-hand experience. :) So many blessings throughout this time. Again, thank you. Have a blessed day, amie sue

  6. Claire says:

    Oh, my… touched my heart and soul with your beautiful writing about your grandmother’s care and eventual passing experience. Thank you for your candid sharing. Love that Bob sings to her too. Hugs, C

  7. Wyandotte says:

    A deeply moving story. It is kind of you to share this with us. I have certainly learned from it.

  8. Glenn says:

    Wishing your Grandma peace and easy as long as she chooses to remain with you. I wish you all blessings and peace with the situation, as best as you are able to allow. Thanks for explaining the situation and sharing the lovely music chosen for the circumstances.

    • amie-sue says:

      Thank you Glenn, I (we) all appreciate that. I have been so blessed throughout this experience and will cherish these moments throughout my lifetime. It too has taught me so much. I appreciate your support. hugs and blessings, amie sue

  9. Andrea says:

    Dear Amie-Sue,

    thank you for sharing this precious part of your life with us. Don’t apologise for not putting up recipes. Spending time with your loved ones is so much more important. Sending prayers and hugs to you and your family <3

    • amie-sue says:

      Thank you for your understanding and support Andrea. I agree with you… family first. I am also thankful for my Nouveauraw family. :) We all appreciate the prayers, hugs! amie sue

  10. Sandy Walton says:

    Sending loving thoughts and prayers for these precious moments.

  11. Gia Bottaro says:

    Thank you so much Amie-Sue, for this beautiful, incredibly moving account of your grandmother’s last hours. I cried too. I know how you feel, it’s an amazing experience in so many ways and on so many levels. I suspect no one in your membership will pester you for recipes during this very important time. Bless you and know you are loved and so appreciated.

    • amie-sue says:

      Thank you, Gia, for your support. The last thing I want to do while going through all this is, is to stress about my “work” here on Nouveauraw, but I want to find that balance to keep things running for those who bless me by being paid members. Thank you for all your kind words. love and hugs, amie sue :)

  12. Mikaela Bartoi says:

    May all the grandmothers in the world be as surrounded with love as yours is, and may all of them have such a sensible, carrying, loving, granddaughter like you, Amie Sue! Thank you for sharing all your deep thoughts and feelings with us at such a painful “good bye” in your life. Blessings and prayers float with the clouds toward Alaska, toward you and your family. Love & Hugs

    • amie-sue says:

      Thank you, sweet Mikaela. Your words are so comforting. Even in this time of sorrow, so many wonderful blessings have taken place… I couldn’t ask for me. Your prayers and love are felt my friend. hugs, amie sue

  13. mickeybendavid says:

    Dearest Amie,
    You have left me speechless.. Your post is breathtaking and so special… The way you take the situation.. with so much sensitivity and grace… reading your words takes me from joy to tears…
    You are such a special and brave lady!

    • amie-sue says:

      Thank you, Mickey. I feel so blessed to have this opportunity in life. There is one guarantee with this world of ours and that is the fact that we will all perish at some point within our journey. In Grandma’s situation, we have the chance to really honor her and those closest to her. What a gift. Thank you again for all your kind words. hugs and blessings, amie sue

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