Eating Out with Grace and Ease

#3 – Eating Out with Grace and Ease

Eating out, whether it be at a friend’s house, a picnic, a potluck, or at a restaurant, can be very overwhelming when you are trying to eat healthily. Do you ever find yourself staring at a menu surrounded by friends and family who are all excitedly selecting foods left and right, thrilled with all their options? And yet, there you sit, staring so hard at the menu that the words and photos slip off the pages.

You start to feel sorry for yourself, thinking that there isn’t anything for you to enjoy, let alone eat. The aromas that are wafting through the restaurant are making your stomach growl, the clinking and clattering of dishes almost anger you, your smile disappears as plates of food get passed around. And there you sit, thinking all there is for you is a plate of non-organic iceberg lettuce.

Eating out can cause anxiety to well up inside of you. I can’t tell you how many times over the last decade that I have walked up to dinner tables and a numbness flooded over me. These days, I don’t give it any thought. I am well “seasoned.” And to be frank, we will continuously be presented with all sorts of food scenarios in our everyday lives; there is no escaping it. If you sit down to the table all stressed out, it is my opinion that the stress is more damaging to the body than eating a meal that has some cooked veggies or some other food that typically doesn’t make it on your list of approved foods. UNLESS you have a downright food allergy… then you indeed have to be careful.

Don’t worry! The longer you lead a healthy eating lifestyle, the easier these things become.

How to Handle Yourself with Grace and Ease

If you start to feel your heart racing as you pull up to the table, take a few deep breaths. Remind yourself that the people sitting in the chairs around you are far more important than the food set before you.
Be kind to the restaurant staff and those around you. This moment isn’t the time to evangelize your eating habits.
In my experience, the worst thing to do is to announce, “I eat only raw vegan food and there is nothing for me here!” Comments like that will only isolate you from your non-raw food friends and family, and it doesn’t make for a pleasant start of a joyful and peaceful meal.

View the Menu Online Ahead of Time

If you know where you are going to meet others for a meal, check the Internet to see if the restaurant has an online menu. It’s pretty much a given these days.
- You’re more likely to make unhealthy choices when hungry, unprepared, or distracted.
- The sight and smell of food can make sticking to a plan more difficult, especially if you are hangry (angry because you’re overly hungry).
- Having a plan before you arrive makes it easier to avoid snap decisions you might regret later.
Start by viewing their salads. ALL salads, even if it starts with the word, “chicken.” You will get a good idea as to what veggies or even some fruits that they have on hand.
Look through their cooked entrees to see what veggies come with particular dishes.
When the waiter/waitress comes to the table, ask if you can have a tailor-made salad with the ingredients you found.

Viewing the Menu at a Restaurant

When I look at a menu, I search for all the veggies. Then I ask the waiter if they can make a special salad from what I found. For example, broccoli, tomato, carrot, spinach, beetroot, and sun-dried tomato. I explain that I am happy to pay more for an entree-sized portion. I specify nothing processed, just fresh raw or steamed vegetables. I may ask for some fresh chopped garlic and olive oil and vinegar on the side. I tell them no salad dressing or soy sauce. When the food arrives, I add salt and pepper, and voila! Most of the time I get something very nice. And, many times, people with me wish they had ordered it too!

Talking to the Waiter/Waitress

You know that old saying, “You get more with honey than you do with vinegar?” It applies here. Patience and kindness when ordering will result in a better outcome.
Be the first to place your order. In social situations, people tend to mimic each other subconsciously, and dining out is no exception. Plus, everyone else will have their noses buried in their menu, and your meal won’t become a spectacle to those around you.
Don’t be afraid to ask your server to help you healthy-up your meal. Ask for suggestions since they know the back of the house.
If having steamed veggies, always ask how they prepare it. That may sound funny, but many places automatically add butter, cheese, or other sauces without indicating it.

No Matter What the Eating Occasion …

Keep in mind that most of the time when we meet up with people at a restaurant, we are doing so to connect with them. The idea is to enjoy their company and get to know one another. To share stories, laugh, and treasure each other. It shouldn’t be all about the food, though that can be fun too. The bottom line is that YOU have the power to control the outcome. You can decide whether to sit in self-pity that you eat a healthy diet, or you can rejoice in your choices, and create a wonderful memory with your friends and family. Can I repeat that?… Enjoy your time together, and make the most of the present moment. It’s the only one you’ve got.

House Parties / Weddings / Holidays / Picnics

So the next time someone invites you out to eat, do a little research about where you are going or what food is being prepared for the event. Don’t grill the host (they probably won’t taste that good), and it’s just unkind. If you know the hostess well, you can always share with them what your eating restrictions are. I don’t mean to refer to eating “raw” as having a food restriction (though in reality, it is, it just seems negative to put it that way). I am referring to other restrictions that people have such as; gluten intolerances, those on specialty diets for current health issues, etc.

If you are stressing (even after all that I have shared) about what food will or won’t be at an event, ask the hostess if you can bring a dish to share. An excellent way to state it is, “Amie Sue, I have an amazing “…..” dish that I love to make and share. Would you mind if I brought it for the guests?” You will have something yummy to eat, and you can focus on enjoying your time with others.

Eat Mindfully

Mindful eating means making conscious choices about what you consume and giving your full attention to the eating process.
Take the time to savor the aromas and flavors of your meal, as well as thoughts and feelings that arise while you eat.
Mindful eating has been linked with healthier food choices in restaurants.
It can also help improve your self-control and prevent you from overeating.
Commit to eating slowly. It takes about twenty minutes for your brain to get the message from your stomach that you are no longer hungry. Fast eaters are often overeaters, while slow eaters tend to eat less and are still satisfied.

Let’s Recap

Be prepared when eating out. Go online and study their menu.
Don’t be afraid to ask waiters/waitresses for options.
If it is a house party/dinner, call the hostess and ask if you can bring a dish.
Have a snack before you leave the house. Having some food in your tummy will reduce the frustration if there isn’t much to pick from while you’re at the gathering.
Be kind to those around you and be kind to yourself!
DO NOT stress!